Make a Joyful Noise Unto the Lord, part 1

As I mentioned in my first post, I belong to two choirs.  As you probably deduced from the title of this post, yes, these are two church choirs–Catholic, to be exact.  Yes, I am a feminist and a Catholic, but that’s a discussion for another post.  The church I attend has two different adult choirs, and I belong to both.

With the rise (over-saturation?) of reality television in recent years, I’ve often contemplated shopping the idea of our choir as the basis for a reality show.  In fact, if anyone knows someone who can make this happen, I can promise you won’t be disappointed in the entertainment factor.

There’s no subtle way of describing this, so I’m just going to put it out there:  between both groups, there is an abundance of crazy people.  In fact, after our Christmas concert last year, I had the following conversation with my parents:

Parents:  That lady (omitting descriptive details), is she the crazy one?

Me: Which one?

Parents:  That lady with…

Me:  No, I mean which crazy person are you talking about?

Parents:  The crazy one that chases after the choir director

Me:  Again, which one??

Parents:  There are more than one?

Me:  Yep, there are quite a few…

Yes, apparently my choir director gives off some sort of pheromone that attracts women to him, especially women who are married and/or old enough to be his mother (cue the mental replay of “Mrs. Robinson”).  And for them, the concept of sexual harassment does not exist.  They are collectively of the mindset that “no” just means to try harder.

In case you think this is too weird to be true, here are just a few examples:

  • The middle-aged woman who attempted to grope the choir director when he was in a state in which he could not legally consent (and trust me, he didn’t even consent then)
  • The married middle-aged woman who sent hundreds of sexually explicit texts and emails to the director, despite his repeated requests that she stop
  • The slightly older than middle-aged woman who was spreading rumors that she and the director were having a hot and heavy affair

I’ve often joked around with my friends and said, “It’s those church choir people that you have to watch out for,” but let’s be honest–this group is so much more dysfunctional than what anyone would expect. But here’s the really strange thing: the music, the sound of these groups is amazing, especially the larger group. I’ve visited parishes three times larger and their music doesn’t come anywhere close. They say there’s often a fine line between genius and insanity, and nowhere do I see more proof of this than the church choirs.


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